Yoga: My Roadmap Home by Rosalyn Fay

There I was, standing in a forward bend watching tears drop on my yoga mat below my head and glad they were indistinguishable from the drops of sweat around them. It seemed like I couldn't get through a yoga class without crying. I wasn't sure why but the simple act of doing yoga would bring up waves of pent up emotion.

“Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principles of Yoga.” ― Kripalvanandji

My decade long marriage was ending and marriage counseling wasn't working. My recent discovery of yoga was a godsend. Yoga became my therapy; a safe place to go inside and feel what was true for me. The truth was I didn't know who I was anymore. I felt I'd passively handed over a decade of my life to a man I had little in common with because I was young and scared and he was older and wiser. I was turning 30 and I wanted my life back. I'd allowed the safety net of our marriage to close around me. All I could think about was getting free. That freedom came in the form of my daily yoga practice. My body and spirit craved it. On days my mind felt lazy, my body picked me up, grabbed my mat and drove me to class.

Just like the cliché, I told my husband that I was leaving to "find myself." I had no idea what that meant or where I was going. All I knew was that my marriage felt dependent on me staying the same woman and wife I'd been, and that was no longer possible.

Yoga is a Sanskrit word that means "union with the divine." During my marriage I had lost touch with my spirit, my divinity. Yoga reunited my body and mind with my spirit and has guided me back home to my soul countless times since the end of my marriage 10 years ago. What on the outside appears like a simple sequence of stretches can become a profound spiritual experience and metaphor for life.  Every time I practice yoga I’m reminded of the truth of who I am. I’m also shown what I'm resisting, trying to muscle and control, and where I can relax, allow more space or surrender to in my body, and in my life.

“Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind and soul.” ― Amit Ray

 In a society of shiny objects, instant gratification and comfort seeking, I find it paradoxical that yoga studios are popping up in every town and people are flocking to them, eager to be with their discomfort-- hungry for a reminder of what's real and true.

“Every soul innately yearns for stillness, for a space, a garden where we can till, sow, reap, and rest, and by doing so come to a deeper sense of self and our place in the universe. Silence is not an absence but a presence. Not an emptiness but repletion. A filling up.” ― Anne D. LeClaire

 Although I’ve always been drawn to yoga for the spiritual aspects, there are numerous health benefits worth mentioning. Yoga improves your posture, increases your flexibility, strength, and balance, and lowers your blood pressure, I’ve recently been using it to manage stress, and calm my nervous system and adrenals.

Simply stepping inside a yoga studio feels luxurious and nourishing-- the warm, beautiful open space, the music, the encouraging and inspiring words from the teacher, the time you’ve allocated just for you, away from work and home. There is also a feeling of fellowship knowing everyone else is there for similar reasons-- to go inside, find some inner peace from the outer world and their monkey minds, to give themselves undivided attention, to heal their bodies and find their center again.

“Yoga will always be transformational, even when it stops being cool.” 
― Victoria Moran

As I embark on this quest for holistic health, yoga is a constant companion, a dear old friend and integral part of my physical and spiritual well-being. Yoga has gifted me with an aligned body and these questions that serve me daily: Where am I feeling resistance? What outcome am I trying to control or force? What would happen if, rather than avoiding the pain or resisting it, I created more space, surrendered the outcome and accepted the truth of the moment? 

The answers are where you’ll find yourself.

Rosalyn Fay is founder and Producer of True Colors TV, an online inspirational video network for women. For the past four years she has been interviewing women with extraordinary stories of healing themselves and transforming their lives. She brings diverse women together for raw, bold, juicy conversations on her talk show True Talk and hosts powerful live events. Rosalyn grew up on farm in Opportunity, Montana but found her home in the San Francisco Bay Area where she has worked as an alternative radio host and video producer. Visit her website,and twitter. 

Thrive or Bust! My 6 Month Adventure To True Health by Rosalyn Fay

Author's own photo.

There I was proudly pushing my loaded shopping cart of colorful, organic produce through the isles of Whole Foods wearing sunglasses and getting the occasional quizzical look from other shoppers. Next stop, the supplement isle! As I scanned the rows of bottles looking for Milk Thistle and Vitamin E, a clear voice sounded in my head. “When you thrive, your body will thrive.” Whoa... I stood there looking at my stocked cart, and my heart sank. It was one of those rare Voice of God moments of truth that shake you to your core. The words continued to echo in my head. “When you thrive, your body will thrive.”

The truth was, I wasn’t thriving in my life. Far from it. The sunglasses were hiding a bad case of hives that I’d been battling for months. The itchy, red welts were concentrated around my eyes and spreading. The swelling was so bad some days I could only laugh, then cry, at my resemblance to a beluga whale. I’d tried numerous over the counter creams, ointments, essential oils and herbal supplements. Not only were they not working, many of them aggravated my skin. My next line of defense was my diet. I had nearly finished a 10 day cleanse and was certain that if I kept up a strict diet, clear skin was just around the corner. But toward the end of the cleanse, the hives flared up again. As I researched obsessively, I discovered that hives could also be triggered by stress, anxiety, depression and sadness. Sigh…It resonated.

Intuitively I knew my emotional and mental state were the cause. The stress had been building. My dance instructor had just asked me to perform a complicated choreography the following week, solo! My relationship with a soul mate was coming to a tumultuous end and my bank account had fallen into the red. I was experiencing signs of hormonal imbalance and adrenal fatigue. The combination was too much. My body was rebelling. The hives were my body’s way of saying, “Things have to change…now! 

One morning after waking up with my eyes nearly swollen shut, I called a dermatologist for an emergency visit. She prescribed cortisone cream. I had really wanted to heal the hives naturally, but I was desperate. Feeling a bit defeated, I applied the cortisone. In three days the hives were gone. While my hives had healed, I knew that the root causes were still very present and that if I didn’t get a handle on those, the hives would resurface, or worse.

Through this crisis (blessing) I came to deeply understand how intimately linked our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health are. Something that I understood intellectually suddenly became very real and I was forced to apply that knowledge in my life. I knew that if I was going to truly thrive and create the kind of life I really wanted, I could no longer allow my negative thoughts and beliefs to run the show. It was time to face my fears of rejection, of not being good enough and lovable enough, and beliefs that my productivity and bank account balance somehow defined me.

I began the deeper work. I sat down and asked myself… “If I truly loved myself, how would my life change?”

Soon after I ended my relationship and I opened myself up to another man (whose love has been immensely healing), and I committed myself to creating and following a plan of self-love and true, holistic health. I came up with the following list of 5 tools and practices and plan on integrating them into my life over the next 6 months with the intention they become a permanent part of my life.

Adopting a daily yoga and meditation practice

Adopting a greener, more alkalizing diet

 Expressing myself more creatively and playfully  

Making self-love, self-care a daily priority

Getting business/financial coaching

So, for the next 6 months I invite you to join me on this adventure! I can use all the support I can get and perhaps it will inspire you to make changes that will help you stress less and thrive more. Please leave me a comment and let me know where you are at on your journey to thriving and whole health!  

 "Rosalyn Fay is Founder and Producer of True Colors TV, an online inspirational video network for women. She is passionate about women's stories of transforming their lives and how those stories can inspire change in others. Over the past few years she has interviewed numerous women with extraordinary stories of healing themselves and transforming their health. Through that process she has been privy to leading edge information on holistic health, however, she has come to realize that knowing how to live optimally and living optimally are two very different things. So, over the next 6 months, she is committed to putting that knowledge into practice and adopting habits that will result in a holistically healthy lifestyle that is sustainable. She is very excited about sharing her journey to true health with you."